Labels: sinful...

8:34 PM

hey, its book in day.

weekends come and go just like that. soon, its back to the boring life of green. feel so physically drained these days really. all the running (arr, apsc) and all the soccer i had throughout the weekends (seniors, vofm). i never felt so drained before. not to mention all the late nights i have nowadays.. though its like im momentarily immune to the pain, but there are times it all comes back again..

really dont know what to blog about this boring life of mine now, till then.

sispec astw here i come, though i dont like it.

5:51 PM

Easy is to judge the mistakes of other
Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes

Easy is to talk without thinking
Difficult is to refrain the tongue

Easy is to hurt someone who loves us
Difficult is to heal the wound

Easy is to forgive others
Difficult is to ask for forgiveness

Easy is to admire a full moon
Difficult to see the other side...

Easy is to stumble with a stone.
Difficult is to get up

Easy is to promise something to someone.
Difficult is to fulfill that promise

Easy is to say i love you.
Difficult is to show it every day

Easy is to criticize others.
Difficult is to improve oneself

Easy is to weep for a lost love.
Difficult is to take care of it so not to lose it.

1:05 PM

sorry. but i dont have all the time in the world.
thanks. but no thanks.

2:32 PM

i miss the past..

soccer, tpjc and..

11:35 PM

These days, i feel this tint of emptiness/loneliness in my life. In the past, i took things for granted, seldom following up on what i began with.. It seems, as i enlisted into the army, things didnt change at all, instead it all became worse. It was a reality check, really. When you're in the army, more often than not, you're not in control of what you are doing. More often than not, you're still taking instructions. Rarely, any creativity or freeplay. That's one problem that is left neglected from the start.

Girls said guys who're in the army, are like stagnant. We aren't moving on like they do.. They go to uni, where there's so many space for freeplay and chance to express themself, but they often do not understand why most guys find NS tough to begin with. This is because the problems we face are very different from them. We no longer fret over some math or therotical questions. Instead, we worry about extra duties, weekends burned and stuff.

This emptiness within me. Its amphibious. Sometimes it hurts so much, sometimes it doesnt. But one thing's for sure. It blurs my vision of the future.. more often than not, i'd get so affected, i cant do things up to my fullest potential. I get so muddled by stuff that i fail to make right decisions. It's because of this that i cant move on. Its not that i refused to move on, but i cant, as a matter of fact. That is why i really admire people who could take it strongly. People like my buddy. I also really admire people who is like really "happy-go-lucky" and positive, like those people who believes that everything would be a big OK at the end of the day. An example is WeiChuan. Seriously lar, knowing him for so long, i never saw him depressed at all before. I dont know if that's good or bad lar. But i just thought it must be a blessing to be able to do that.

These months, i've never been really happy before. Too many to let go i guess. Even though i thought the lack of time has been an active limitation to what i can do, i dont blame the NS system.. Because i still believe in the need for the NS system. Maybe not in the defence part, but in the making of a man, from a boy. a sword maketh the knight, the NS maketh a man. haha. maybe some of you would think, why the sudden realisation from me. must think that im crazy right, suddenly so enthusiatic about NS.

Maybe its that i realise all the benefits of serving NS already.. I'm old enough, matured enough to understand the need for any guy to serve NS. Even at this point, i still think it took me abit too long to understand that fact. Right. Come to think about it, i've only less than half a year to the end of it all, why not make it the best ever performance i've put in right? That is why i really want to move on, and need to move on. yes, and i think i will. i wont be so naive anymore. its time i grew up..

There's really so much i want to say and to express. But its not easy. Seriously.

All i can say is, i'm learning to be a better person, for You and for Myself. If i could change, so can any of you. no harm, right? Good Day. :)

It Ends Tonight
The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends

12:31 PM

(:

the whole new blogger system is crap i think. having to log in twice, first with your blogger acct, next with the google acct, whatever for right...

ok, on a lighter note, its the start of a much needed break.. took off tmr for dad's bday and leave for the whole of next week. well, this week seems terribly long for some reason.. had to do Guard 2 for freaking MayDay. that sucks man. haha, having to guard SGC when everyone else is not around! dont have my buddy to wake me up either! had to resort to several alarm clocks, which does not belong to me? haha. anw Man U lost. and i watched the match. Heartache, but at least the epl seems within grasp..

had supper with the buddy just now.. sometimes i must say, i really do respect him. how he handle stuffs so much more strongly/maturely.. i really do lack a lot in comparison to him in these stuff... he's more of a "jiao ta shi ti" kinda guy.. then i am like a happy-go-lucky monkey(according to him). i learnt alot from him i must say.. but the appreciation is hard to show i think, damn gay... OWELLS. must find stuff to do next week alr! dont wanna waste my leave this way.. must spent it well, cos that's the only long break we have this workyear. but im gonna ord end of year alr so i dont care also. hahaha!

i want to watch spiderman. soon.....

12:54 AM